So Friday, the Daily Caller obtained video of a US Senate employee having anal sex inside a historic Senate Judiciary Committee hearing room. But we don’t have access to the video. So we had Gene, one of our producers, sketch a screengrab. There you go. Yeah. Talk about yielding the floor to the next gentleman. Now, after the story broke, Democrat Senator Ben Cardin’s office released this statement, “***** ***** ********* is no longer employed by the US Senate.” Well, good thing his ID badge had a picture of the back of his head.

Security forces tell Fox News that Capitol Police are taking the matter seriously and charges haven’t been ruled out. Now, either this was a rare event or maybe this year’s Secret Santa gift exchange got way out of hand. But where else can you get paid to have sex in the workplace with a free colonoscopy? Only in D.C. are the aides so helpful, they’ll bend over backward and forward for you. I don’t even feel dirty. Now, predictably, the ex-staffer responded by claiming that the outrage is homophobia. “I have been attacked for who I love to pursue a political agenda.” He even states he’ll be exploring his legal options. Exploring. Not the best verb. So he’s lawyering up, and I guess we’re all supposed to be scared. Well, let me be the first to say “up yours.” Too late. But it’s what liberals never understand. It’s not the what? It’s the “where.” The sex tape was filmed in the same spot where the 9/11 Commission had its hearings, where Supreme Court justices have been confirmed. So, yeah, it’s not about the sex act. It’s where it occurred. 

You want to put on a Scooby Doo costume and be walked on a leash by a guy dressed like Genghis Khan? Fine. We’ve all been there. I mean, we have, haven’t we? But do it at home. And if you’re going to get filibustered over a Senate conference table, at least use a coaster. Now, NBC wants to make this all about conservative outrage. We’re not outraged, but hell, fine, we’ll take it. At least we’re standing up for something. Your right to be yourself doesn’t confer more rights on you than the rest of us have nor does it gain you extra privilege for whatever behavior. In fact, I know some people who got 20 years for trespassing in that building, and unlike the Senate aide, those guys got screwed in the Capitol right in the rotunda, which is not a euphemism. So welcome to the real world, where equal rights also mean the equal obligation to behave responsibly and also equal opportunity to be made fun of. Because the jokes here are just too easy. I mean, just mentioning you had a staff position makes me want to pause and smoke a cigarette. Talk about a joint resolution. I’m against that motion proceeding. After all, that’s one small caucus. But is that a veto or some guy named veto? Sorry. 


Now, if you haven’t seen the video, let’s just say it doesn’t leave much to the imagination. I haven’t seen that much crack since I took that trip to the Liberty Bell. But I do fear that the hearing room is forever tainted. But the only real mystery is who is the other man? If he’s Republican then they took reaching across the aisle a little too far. If he’s a Democrat, we can only guess. Of course, over in the House, we know that Jamaal Bowman has a thing for violating exits. Whoever it was! The point is that for the left, it’s never just about expanding rights and privileges, it’s also about destroying the borders that separate behavior. And it’s always done with a sort of mission creep. You know, we’re not supposed to notice the slow erosion. Like having adult material in school libraries or Marxist dance troupes in the White House videos. Or Jesse Watters’ hairline. But this is a White House that had Dylan Mulvaney interview Joe Biden, a fake version of Audrey Hepburn, interviewing a fake version of a president. But he probably thought it was Audrey Hepburn, since he can’t tell a staircase from a water slide. 

No wonder his Supreme Court nominee couldn’t tell us what a woman is. He can’t either. Meanwhile, statues of Washington and Jefferson are being torn down because, you see, that’s inappropriate. Yeah. If only they were banging each other, then they’d be everywhere. You’re not going to get that on “Special Report.” Since then, this White House has seen cocaine drops, a transit activist flashing her brass on the lawn, a klepto in charge of nuclear waste, and then this year’s Christmas video featuring anti-white cop hating commies all on your dime. Yeah. There’s no sex in that video. The only ones getting screwed are the taxpayers. But wasn’t it supposed to be Trump that was going to violate the decorum of the office? Remember how they mocked Melania for blood red trees and Donald for serving fast food to athletes? And the Dems, you know, they’re the ones who are supposed to restore decency. 


Like when they excluded Hunter’s baby from the family Christmas stockings. Yeah, they left her out, but their dogs got stockings. I guess those mutts earned it for taking the blame every time there was an accident on the White House carpet. The takeaway? The left sees their mission as fighting the oppressors and destroying traditions without knowledge of either. And one’s identity becomes a protective shield for any idiotic behavior. But there is a reason legislative buildings and cathedrals don’t look like the Playboy mansion. They’re supposed to represent something sacred and exalted that governs human behavior. And then the Dems show up and the destruction begins. Drag queens in kid’s schools and libraries, men’s and women’s sports, tap dancing totalitarians in the White House. 

But recording a sex tape in the Senate may be the dumbest thing that’s ever been done there and Cory Booker works there! These kids need to learn that it’s not all about them and their need to celebrate themselves. The state building belongs to the American people. It’s ours, not yours. And really, don’t film anal sex in a Senate judicial hearing room if you don’t want to be judged. 

So let’s keep that room poor and free, just like we’re keeping two genders and Christmas too. Whoever slides down your chimney is none of our business, and we intend to keep it that way.